Apparently, I really felt like waking up at 4am editing this shot, to then start writing a vintage falterfurther caption only to fall asleep
Ya’ll just escaped a whole ass ramble about my life
My whole playlist:
I can’t remember how we got here
Also, Instagram compression is extra trash today huh, good thing that’s my aesthetic
One year later and I’m still bleaching my hair, but at least I’m not just wearing all black everyday
Edit: my mom asked me if i had no shame walking around with shorts above my knees when I showed her this and she playfully hit me and chased me when I said it’s to get her a daughter in law soz mother
Taken by @itsnotruman
J’me tire by Maître Gims
Just a few moments of missed opportunity.
My last account was myself being a perfectionist yet unhappy with everything I created and now I’m here preferring the shots that aren’t exactly right or edits that ‘ruin’ a clean image. Is this character development or regression? Who knows.
Habits of My Heart by Jaymes Young
This morning I woke up feeling pretty shitty and sometimes I find it difficult to process or understand how I actually feel.
So, I’m there in bed not knowing what these emotions are or why they’re even there. I don’t even understand how to react to them.
What I usually do during those days, is find a piece of music that somehow resonates with how I feel (sometimes lyrically miles off, but not emotionally) and let the day go by with it as the soundtrack. And when I have enough energy, make something whilst it plays or include it in the piece itself.
It doesn’t always help me feel better I’ll be honest, but it does make it easier to figure out what I feel exactly.
Today it started with just a short mood piece using Freehand by Novo Amor (@iamnovoamor ) and Ed Tullett (@edtullett ) which is still the soundtrack for today.
It then somehow ended up as a
Music by Novo Amor has often been the soundtrack to those moments where I start to do better.
So I got an email where I had to do a 2 min vlog for this thing due in 3 days (from when I read it)
And my first move was to hit up the lads and then this happened
I would like to thank everyone involved with moist feelings for always being down for anything
@nasim749 who was scouting other locations like lickey hills apparently
@itsnotruman who managed to be in this (sort of) despite being on the other side of the world
I thought about re-editing this since it was done quite rushed at the time, but this feels a lot more authentic and honest.
See I’m not always a sad boi
Also, blurred out email for you know 🧿 🧿 and privacy
I Want To Feel Alive by The Lighthouse and the Whaler
Part 2 since Insta wanted to play me
As I was saying look at @uthmvn being the bad bitch he is looking fine as hell
You can tell he’s ready it to drop it like it’s hot, but not as hot as jahannam (I gotchu insta sheikhs)
You can tell he’s been listening to Zina by Babylone thinking it’s a nasheed
Wasting Time (Eternal Summer) by Four Years Strong
You know the drill, pretend I said something about how I wanna figure myself out or grow
Keywords: journey, love, understanding, idk younger self???
Got a fake image to uphold here
Today, I got a phone call from my mom when she was right next to me. I was like hey you’re pocket dialling me, but then began to freak out because she thought maybe she dropped it and someone stole it. I answered, said salaam and was like who is this and are you okay in Bengali AS IF A THIEF WOULD WANT ME TO BE THE FIRST PERSON THEY CALLED AND THEY WOULD REPLY IN BENGALI BACK TO ME. Anyway, it was my little sister asking if I wanted tea.
Now let’s pretend I said something emotional and thought provoking in a way that doesn’t exactly make sense. With Idk
The Only Thing by Sufjan Stevens as the song??? (Palette ft. G. DRAGON by IU)
A little more figured out, a little more myself
Taking time off did me well. Anyway, hi again.
The Waterboy Returns by Modern Baseball
Thanks @uthmvn for taking the shot and understanding what the hell I was talking about throughout the day
Also, imagine I started using my adobe premiere shortcuts whilst using lightroom on this pic. Man used his cut shortcut to try to crop and I even tried to cycle through images like I was scrubbing through video fml turns out J K L do not do the same things
I’m not really sure what’s next, but I feel like this part of it is over for now.
I kinda had a vague idea of what this was supposed to be. It used to be this thing to help me escape from whatever I was feeling and where I was (the name makes sense now huh), but it’s been feeling a little redundant for a while. Plus, I don’t really want to limit myself with this whole identity and theme anymore.
Unfortunately, I’m dramatic enough to believe that everything requires a 3 act structure, so I need an ending to whatever this has been.
Thank you for all the support and love on this specific little journey, it got more reactions than I ever really expected.
That being said I ain’t dead and I haven’t decided what to do with this account (idek if I’ll keep the name) so let’s say goodbye and walk in the same direction for a bit yeah thnx xxx
If I was going 100%, you would have gotten some dank vintage alandaway, I’m talking about thoughts about the future versions of me, a wilder identity crisis, ending with a “I’m still hopeful” kinda shit I used to do
Limitless by Eden Project
A little update
So this is me at 23 (last month)
I’m glad I didn’t promise to make more for insta on my New Years video because I’m honestly enjoying taking a break from it all and not feeling bad about it
Hair’s still blue, still pretty lame and still stressed out by Adobe Premieres handle on 4K footage
Everything about image is by @au.mle because I’m not cool enough
Palette by IU feat. G-Dragon