When your friend gets called ugly/gross/insert derogatory comment by an internet troll, or someone in real life, or the voice in their own head, the quickest way to alleviate their pain is to convince them they’re NOT ugly — they’re beautiful! "No way! You're beautiful! You look perfect! Look at you!” We *totally* get it, but we want to suggest a more effective approach. Let's treat the real underlying problem, rather than just slap a band-aid on the symptom.
✖️Take the sting out of beauty-related bullying and alleviate body image burdens by teaching her that her beauty is the *least* important thing about her. When we fight back against mean comments or bullying or low self-esteem with appearance-based compliments, we're solidifying the idea that the beauty is of utmost importance. 💥Continuing to focus on her appearance uses the same framework and logic that makes appearance-based insults so lethal.💥 When we stop giving beauty the power to *make us,* we take away its power to *break us.*
✖️When we view and value our bodies as *instruments* for our use and experience rather than ornaments to be admired, other people's evaluations of our bodies will carry a lot less power. Help her interrogate WHY looks-related bullying is the go-to way to tear women down (answer: because we are constantly told we are bodies first and people second). Remind her that her body isn’t here as a decoration, and that her life has meaning, power and purpose beyond anyone’s evaluation of her appearance. Then go for a walk or dance or paint or sing or cry or do something to help remind her that her body is an instrument for her own use, and to benefit the world around her. The world needs her and it needs you, too! Not a pretty picture of you, but all of you. Right now.
💗If this resonates with you, you’ll love our 8-week online Body Image Resilience Course at courses.beautyredefined.org, our TEDx talk, and our blog (linked in bio). #morethanabody #seemorebemore #beautyredefined