Today was a day full of hard work, productivity, optimism, gratitude, pride, happiness, healing, and FREEDOM. This morning I ended up cutting my workout a bit short as I didn't feel like it. Felt kinda guilty but tried to move past it.
Breakfast was a Bran Cereal yogurt bowl w🍌&freeze dried🍓. Ended up loving it so much I had more in almond milk instead of yogurt. Unmeasured cereal. Probably ended up having double the serving size but it's what I felt like! Surprisingly only felt slightly bloated after too! Felt uncomfortable & anxiously antsy but distracted myself with my🐕& made me happy💕Later on I saw photos of my Mac&Cheese which made me want it. I tried to ignore & fight the thoughts/cravings had 2 bites from the fridge then threw my rules out the window, warmed it up, & destroyed those leftovers💪Wasn't TOO much left but I had LUNCH. For the 1st time in 5ish MONTHS😱Usually only have 2 meals & 1 snack a day. This. Was. HUGE. Exercised about 20mins whilst watching YT because I WANTED to, then tidied, dusted, washed my bedding, danced (which I haven't done in AGES & really enjoy!)etc.. Wasn't constantly checking the⏰for dinner because I was full&SATISFIED from lunch! Once dinner came I almost didn't have🍔like was planned because I wasn't *craving* it. But that's what I was looking forward to all day so ignored the thoughts of replacing it with something healthier & made the dang Cheeseburgers! 1 was on a lettuce "bun" w Ketchup, Mustard, pickle slices, provolone & parm cheese w🍅slices on side. Then was still hungry & kinda wanted more so had the same thing on a BUN😱🍞, Buns, Tortillas, etc. have been my BIGGEST fear but it's what sounded good & how I would enjoy a🍔pre-ED so I didn't overthink it & just ATE IT. Didn't even feel all that guilty & bloated after!! Today felt mostly like my days did before my #DisorderedEating and #ExerciseAddiction and that is something that even just yesterday seemed SO.FAR.AWAY if possible at ALL. I am SO PROUD of myself for accomplishing this, SO BLESSED, GRATEFUL, & THANKFUL to have been able to experience this, & SO DETERMINED, MOTIVATED, WILL CONTINUE TO WORK HARD, PRAY, & WISH for days like this to become my NORMAL