WHO AM I? 💭
This is a question I ask my self everyday, who is amanda?
And every time that question comes through my head I get this weird feeling inside of me. Because do I really know who I am?
When I was younger I always tried to be someone I didn’t want to be, I was trying to fit in. I used to be the loudest person in the room and I always wanted attention, because I thought people would see me and if they did they would like me.
This attention seeker as people would describe me as, is that really me? Or it might be I don’t know? Even if I talk 24/7 I do much rather listen, I like to hear other people’s stories and what makes me the most happy is to hear others people’s passion for something.
I don’t know when this happened but somewhere along the way I just turned into this person and sometimes I do certain things because it feels like people expect me to do so.
I used to have these voices in my head that followed me everywhere I went and EVERY SINGLE TIME I did something or said something I used to think to my self, ” did I say something wrong? Do they still like me? Do they think I’m too much?” And theses question are still with me today. I still sometimes think that even my closes friends don’t like me or they think I’m too much. I overthink every situation and every conversation I’ve ever had to the max.
To be honest I’m still thinking about some things I said for a few months ago and wondered if I should have said them differently.
But I’m working every single day to become the person that I really am and who I really want to be. I’m trying to be me and love myself for who I am. And one thing that I learnt is that if someone don’t like you, even your closes friends. It DOES NOT MATTER.
If they can’t accept you for who you are you don’t need them in your life. Life is to short to try to make other people happy, the main thing is that YOU are happy.
If I could have said anything to my younger self it would have been BE YOU AMANDA, don’t try to fit in.
You will meet people along the way who will LOVE you for who you are! Be yourself and love every single moment of your precious life.
But everything happens for a reason right??✨