📍Listen and understand the truth. All of you.
Don't you think that I already had all the worst case scenarios what could have been done or what had went on during the last years in my head? Each and every possible detail I had worked out in my head. That was my way to deal with it, not ignored possible problems, but to face them inside in this unique situation. And it was the best method to clear it all up inside of me. To let things go. .
Listen and understand - I absolutely don't care WHO had done or had thought whatever and who is responsible for what, because it doesn't matter anymore, the past is the past and I love whom I love. Unconditionally. .
Maybe you all have seen me, but no one had known what had been really going on in my head, obviously.
My thoughts are more mature in many details than many of you will ever know. Many of you just see my body or the behavior to the outside, but never my soul. .
To see it from the other side, I have to apologize if I have hurt some special people, even without intention or knowledge, in a war that I have never wanted or understood,, because I had too less facts or knowledge to understand anything or whom else is involved. I just had fired and worked against a wall of "uncertainty" that was built up of many in front of me, to get rid of it with all methods. .
At the end of it, I have really grown because I was able to open up to a real "fear'" I had locked up decades and therefore to a wonderful feeling I have kept inside for too long - and maybe because of the strength that I have developed, I was able to open up to it. .
Whatever had been done, or thought, or wanted to do, to me, by whomever, doesnt matter now anymore.
I love most deeply with my truest heart the people in my heart -and they have no chance to get out of it anymore. ❤️
Beside that I care for those who care for me. .