In the photo, there's a place 250 km north-east from Kiev. It's played an important role in my life and I'll tell you in which way, but not now. And now, once in 9 days, I want to share with you another piece of my life. 🦊
My parents quarreled constantly. I remember myself listening to their loud arguments through the thin door of my bedroom. I was scared they would hurt or kill each other. I loved them both and it was pure hell. I never stopped asking my mom why she wouldn't divorce my dad. I was sick and tired with their argument and sorry for my mom crying for hours afterwards. After years of mutual torments, they separated and then divorced.
Pretty familiar story to many, isn't it?
It became different when being 13, I fell ill with OCD. Those of you who know what that is will understand. Those who don't will not. I started slowly rolling down into madness and I was alone in that. It felt as if my mind split into halves. The nastiest thing about this disorder is that you understand everything, but can do nothing. You're at a constant state of war with your own mind.
Still, I consider myself to be lucky, as I managed to break through. Today I know people who haven't.
How did it happen? There were two explanations. First, I fell in love. May sound like a happy ending, but it's not. Perhaps that was a reason why I grew to fall in love too strong. Once I escaped from my parents into OCD, from OCD into love, from love into passion for music and finally back into love. I should have been brought to a specialist. Now, having read tons of psychological books, I see it more or less clear. And that's my reason number two: through reading I understood I was not alone. It was where I obtained strength to carry on and overcome that hell of a disorder. The shadows of the fears long gone sometimes return, but those are just remnants of the past I fear no more. 🦊
May all of you win the wars you fight, guys.
#selfhelp #storytime #psychological #life #photooftheday #ocdproblems
#mindfulness #experience #childhood #thoughts #reading #lovesavestheday #nevergiveup