I swear I'm always saying this!!! I personally can support and validate without ever "agreeing" with your story (meaning if it wee my story, I would choose different/or not feel the same way).....because it's not mine and my life. You are you and your choices are yours...your feelings and experiences as valid as fuck! Putting myself in others shoes, looking at things from a lens other than mine...has come somewhat natural for me, it truly cultivates a understanding I feel is soooo needed in this world... learning to love that about myself and open myself up to receiving it! Old habits can take time to undo (one of mine is choosing folks similar to my mother who dont fully see or embrace me and continue to misunderstand or have certain belief about me even through constantly try to explain..... and are ok with it....and even that's ok! It's me who has to choose differently!)
#Validation #Communication #Friendships #Relationships #OpenMind #OpenHeart .
Reposted from @tiffanyblueco - Posted @withrepost •@moderncouplestherapist You can validate your partner’s feelings and point of view without agreeing with them.
Validating means you acknowledge that your partner’s truth is just that, their truth.
Something that upsets them, gives them anxiety, makes them angry, or gets them excited doesn’t have to give you the same reaction.
You are two separate people with two separate perspectives and experiences.
Validation looks like:
“That sounds like it really stressed you out”
“That’s so exciting for you, I’m happy for you!”
“It makes sense why that would make you angry”
Agreeing sounds like:
“That would upset me too”
“Yeah, I’d be anxious about that if it were me”
“I’d be so pissed if that happened to me”
Your partner is allowed to feel the way the feel, just like you are.
When we validate our partner’s feelings, experiences, and points of view we make them feel loved and respected.
Statements that aren’t validating sound like:
“Isn’t that your job though?”
“That doesn’t sound like a big deal”
“I don’t think that’s really a reason to get angry”
“I think you’re over reacting a little”