Look who is getting her smile back hm?🌹 ————
So let’s just talk about Mental Health for a moment. Some of you may already know, some of you might not, but at the end of April I was diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and Exhaustion. At that time, it seemed like every contributing factor that could have been possible had hit me all at once and I truly hit ‘rock bottom’. At the beginning of the year I dealt with a break-up, I had University assignments in March, in April my sister fell seriously ill and in May I lost one of my closest friends. It felt like my whole body wasn’t able to function and my mind was in such a bad way. I was written off of work, and I was told to spend time with my family, my friends I had disconnected with and spend time with myself just relaxing and focusing on self-care.
For about a month and a half I felt like a complete marshmallow (no better way to describe it) and every day just felt like a blur and a struggle. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t concentrate and drive, I couldn’t sing, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t run - I felt stuck and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Since then, I have really tried to reach out for help and take care of myself. I have rested and refocused my mind. In the last 6-8 months I felt so detached from myself I honestly didn’t even know who I was anymore, and then I would get up on stage and know exactly who I was and what I had to be. I would be at my happiest.
In these pictures I am smiling - this is a good day. Depression is a rollercoaster of good days and bad days, and to get to this moment here it took a lot of psyching up and mental preparation. Sometimes I feel great about life and sometimes I can’t stand it. I still struggle with sleeping, I still struggle with waking up, I still feel like every day is a blur, and I still suffer with sadness and loneliness, but what the last two months a have allowed me to do is to surround myself with support and love which I lacked so much of from isolating myself, and it helped heal my heart, soul and mind. I am no where near who I once was and not close to being ‘healthy’ as it is a very long road ahead. *CONTINUED ON NEXT POST*